100th Post

Well, I hit 100 posts and unfortunately I am not pregnant.

3rd dIUI = epic FAIL!

So now we need to decide what's next. RE doesn't want me to do anymore clomid b/c he thinks it's messing with my lining. We're going to discuss at my cd3 b/w u/s.

So 2 options

IUI w/injectibles
RE thinks I will get at least 6 follies and I don't feel comfortable triggering with 6 follies (but at this point, I've triggered with 4 and that didn't work). I'm going to talk to him more about it and about his stats and HOM when I see him.

or

IVF (wtf!)
In all honesty I don't want to go through it again. The reasons RE said it as option is he knows I'm scared of HOM, it will give us more control over how many we want to transfer and with IUI's so far something is not working. Also, he thinks we'll have frosties and can use them in future for siblings.

I just feel so broken. I'm scared to death this is never going to work. I'm 34 have great b/w, fsh, my hsg was all clear, why isn't anything working? IVF again! Are you kidding me? I thought after an IUI or two I would be pregnant.
I hate this shit sooo much.

I hate crying every month and seeing D so sad. Sometimes, the evil thoughts get in my head and I worry that maybe it's just not meant to be. I hate when I let myself entertain that kind of thinking. I just don't get the unfairness of it. What the fuck did D and I do?

Ok, enough with the pity party.

I need to get over this crap and figure out some next steps. Any advice?