I feel like I keep saying I can't believe it but, I can't believe it, I am going to be sticking needles into myself for the foreseeable future! I hate shots but am willing to do whatever it takes.
D is also kind of freaking out about all this. It is so close now. We will know one way or another if his surgery, the clomid, the vitamins has worked! At some point in March my man will have some sort of sharp object getting near his balls for the 3rd time in the last year and a half. I can not even imagine what he is going through or feeling. I try to listen and be as supportive as possible but I don't know if I am any help or if I am getting through.
Last night D told me he is scared and part of him doesn't want to move forward. He doesn't want to know if he can never have biological children. He asked me if I was mad at him for feeling this way. I'm not mad, he's entitled to his feelings. I'm sure he is not looking forward to more swollen balls (hopefully no infections this time).
I told him if he wants to put this off for a while more we can, but at some point we are going to have to find out. I asked him if he could go his whole life not knowing the truth, not doing everything he could to know the truth. He doesn't want to put it off but is really scared of what his reaction will be if there is no sperm.
I'm scared too. I have no idea what my reaction will be either. The one thing I am sure of is that no matter what the future holds - it is me and D forever. We'll get through it. I keep telling him, I got your back, no matter what. I think it is always better to move forward with all the information, even if it is not the info or news you want.
Well, we have 35-45% odds of finding sperm, not great, but not bad. We have a chance. 10 years ago we would have no chance. Our MFI Dr. is one of the inventors of the mTESE, we are in the best possible hands.
God Please Let this WORK!
Will update later, after I do the first shot.
***************************************
1st lupron shot is done!!! It's burning, I hope that is normal.
D actually did it for me, he wants to be involved :) He is so cute. I <3 D!
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21 comments:
hey babe, thanks for commenting on my blog, im totally following ur journey, the whole way till u have that little baby in ur arms !!
then hopefully i wont be long behind you..
Good Luck for ur first injection and i KNOW that fabby doc will find sperm.
xx
here from iclw
may this cycle be the one! thinking of you.
mo
You're doing your own shots? You're such a champ!
You are going to do great! I'm sorry that this has been so difficult on hubby. Hopefully he will find peace as you guys move through the process one day at a time.
Have fun with those needles!
(and thanks for the visit to my blog!)
Praying for some swimmers! Good luck!!
Good luck! The shots get easier to do the more times you do them and you'll get so proficient that you'll be amazed at where you can give yourself shots (I had to do one in an airport bathroom once...). I hope that they find some quality sperm in your hubby! ICLW
I hate shots too but now they are a part of what seems to be my enitre future if I want kids. Good luck with yours. They get easier I promise.
I think its great that your supporting your husband so kindly. I'm the one causing my husband and my infertility issues and he's always so supportive of me. So its nice to see you being the same to your husband. I wish you and your hubby the very best.
Good luck with the shots! Dh has been giving me all of mine but tonight I am going to try!
You are in my thoughts every step of the way. I am so excited for your first shot (and the burning is normal ... you probably won't feel it each time, thankfully!)
Hope the first shot went well.
Big hug to you and David. I can only imagaine how you are both feeling, anxious (and rightfully so) but also excited with the possiblity of what March can bring.
Keep holding on to hope and know that your friends are praying and thinking about you every single day!
Hey,
I'm praying for you two. The injections wern't as bad as I thought they would be. I hope it all goes smoothly!!
Hugs,
Christine
Hope it goes well. i am scared to death of needles so I have no idea how I'd cope!
ICLW #34
So how was it....?
You can totally do it!!! Mr. M's balls will be laid out for a third time as well on March 9...sigh...
Yay for getting things going! I hope that the shots are not too bad and that the doctor finds lots of swimmers to use!
Just a heads up, I may email you later in the week to ask a few questions about your NOA path.
Congrats on starting this cycle and on your dh wanting to be so involved. Wishing you the very best of luck and lots of success.
~ICLW
Good luck! Glad you made it through the first shot. The first one is the worst one!
Wishing you the best!
ICLW
Here from ICLW. Doing shots is always hard, especially those first few! I have to do them for hep.arin and was up to 3 a day.
Best of luck with your shots, with fishing for the swimmers and this cycle!
Good to hear that your shot went well. It does get easier with time. The first is always the worst.
Wishing you all the best this cycle, and hoping for the best from your hubby's procedure!
You're an amazing wife! You support him and his feelings very well! That's so awesome. I'm glad your shot went well, too. Good luck with his appointment. Sending yo positive vibes.
*ICLW*
Woohoo on getting the first shot done and over. You guys are probably pros at it now.
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