I'm scared that something else is going to set him off.
I feel like a complete ass, he's not a wifebeater, just a man in a lot of pain.
The truth is I don't know if I can handle seeing him like that again and that makes me feel yucky inside. What kind of wife am I? Obviously, a wussy one.
I'm really scared that he doesn't want to move forward with mTESE and that means we will never have a biological child and I will never get to experience a baby growing inside me, feel a little kick against my belly or give birth. I'm scared that if he breaks down again this is what he will say and I don't think I am ready to hear it. Like I said, I am a wuss, a selfish wuss.
In a couple of weeks D and I will celebrate our 33rd birthdays (we're born 2 days apart), 3 is one of my lucky numbers, I am praying 33 is a better year for us. Two and a half weeks after our 33rd b-days it will be Christmas, my favorite holiday, and I am praying for a miracle. And exactly one week after Christmas it will be a new year, a new year filled with ?
and since I needed a laugh, here's a silly cartoon about wusses
16 comments:
i think that 2009 is going to be a good year :)
I'm praying that 2009 is going to be a better year for all of us. I think your completely normal for feeling the way you do, it certainly doesn't make you a bad wife.
Experiencing pregnancy is a huge deal to me (selfish yea), while we weren't thrilled at the idea of donor sperm it is "hopefully" going to allow us to experience that. Hopefully he's just scared now, and comes around. I pray for you guys that it does work out :-)
(Happy early birthday)
I do hope your DH agrees to TESE w/o a breakdown. I'll be praying for you! Here from ICLW.
I've seen men cry like that, and you are right it is scary. But more and more we should be open to it. If we are to live in a world where we want them to be more open and sensitive, we'll get to see the effects of this. ;) It is good that he cried a lot. He really may not want to go through this and you have to be open to encounter the possibility of that answer. But you both need extensive talks on this. He shouldn't go through something like that only because of you. He has to want it just as much. Regarding you having the experience of pregnancy... well, you can always consider DI.
Don't shut down, be open to your husband, speak from your heart and let him speak from his.
I think 2009 is going to be a great year. Happy early birthday! Hopefully your wish will come true. :)
ICLW
I am sorry you are going through all this. IF just sucks it.
I hope 2009 is better for you, and for D.
ICLW
Here from IComLeavWe... (adoption,pregnancy loss, IVF twins)
My Little Drummer Boys
I have no advice but I can pray ..
Dear Lord, Please give your daughter “peace” at this difficult time. Cover her in your hedge of protection and give her the ability to support her DH and enjoy her favourite holiday Christmas.
Fill her with your strength so that she may get through each day, knowing You are there with her every step of the way. I pray for her comfort in knowing You are in control. Amen.
Ps Bring on the miracles in 2009
Good luck and I hope your DH's breakdown was the release he needed and it will let him move on with things.
ICLW
Thanks a lot for your well wishes... We really appreciate it. I am crossing my fingers that 33 is the year that will bring you luck and make miracles. Wishing you all the best.
I hope everything works out with you, your DH, and TESE. Also Wishing you a happy 33rd soon and A GREAT DREAM COME TRUE 2009!
I really hope that 2009 is a good year for you. I hope your DH comes through this patch, and everything starts to look better again.
ICLW
I know how difficult it can be to walk on eggshells. I'm hoping you and your husband can find a solution that can bring you both peace.
ICLW
Here's to a great 33! I guess the alternative to a husband that is emotional, is a husband that is stoic and never talks about anythign at all. Give it a few days, and talk about it again. I hope you have a great T-Day! ICLW
You are not a wuss! IF is hard enough as it is without you putting more stress on yourself. Hopefully DH will come around soon and talk to you about doing TESE in March.
Happy 33rd to both of you!
Here from ICLW. My friend and her husband just got an azoospermia diagnosis and I know that she is dreading an emotional break down from him. She is not very strong and struggling a great deal with this. Hopefully she can be his rock. You are a great wife in my opinion.
I hope 2009 is the best year for you, and that those lucky 3's do bring you some awesome luck!
here from iclw
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