One week closer :)

I finally feel like I am getting over the bronchitis, Thank God!

D and I went to AC for a couple of days to spend some time away from IF and just relax. It was so nice. We slept, gambled, walked on the board walk and celebrated V day. So glad we decided to go.

In IVF news, I've started my 3rd week on BCP and will be adding Lupron to the mix on 2/22. D and I went to Cor.nell for our IVF class and the nurse was so informative and sweet. They went through a powerpoint about the entire process and then we watched a video on giving the injections (yikes!). After the video, the nurse brought out a dummy and went over the injections again and then gave us a DVD to take home with more instructions. I think we've got it covered :) I'm still freaked out about the PIO :(

After the class we got to meet with our IVF nurse to go over our protocol again. She faxed our IVF med needs to the fertility pharmacy our insurance is requiring us to use and now we wait for them to call me. She mapped out our calendar and it looks like our ER and ET will happen the week of St. Patrick's and St. Joseph's Days, I'm taking this to be a good sign :)

Nothing else really to report. Trying to stay hopeful and doing my IF meditations (which are actually relaxing).

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this post was actually published on Sunday, February 15th. I have no idea why it says it was published on the 10th. weird

Rough Week :( and an award :)

I have been home sick almost this whole week! I have bronchitis and feel like shit. I tried to go to work on Weds and today and stayed 1/2 day both times. I am exhausted. I'm now on anti-biotics and cough medicine with codeine and finally have been able to sleep. I hope that after this weekend I am back to normal. I am so bored being home! I actually re-arranged my living room yesterday (not a smart thing to do when one is coughing every 2 seconds).

I've also officially finished 1 week of the bcp and am already feeling the symptoms that made me stop taking it many years ago, migraines and crazy emotions (I'm already emotional and this does not help). So 2 more weeks and then we get to add lupron to the mix, can't wait.

I watched Juno for the first time the other night and that was a mistake, I cried so much at the end I was sobbing. D also cried and held me. He is just such a sweetie. Today he did 6 loads of laundry. He is the best :)

Nothing else to report. I am posting my 50 books in 2009 list on the sidebar of my blog so you can keep track and make sure I am reading my books. If you have any rec's feel free to leave a comment.

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I have be awarded the "Honest Scrap Award" from one of my favorite nesties and bloggers Busted Babymaker. Busted is one of the strongest women I have ever met and I was so happy to have met her IRL when I went to Chicago in November.

The rules of the award:

1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.

2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap." Well, there's no prize, but they get a new blog icon.

3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

The 7 bloggers I am giving this award to are

1. Murgdan from Conceive This - I love her blog, her humor and her honesty. I'm always giving her awards but she's very deserving :)

2. Mandibula from Hoping for Hoberts - She's currently pregnant with twins from mTESE, her story gives me so much hope. Thanks for the inspiration.

3. Echloe from Non-Elusive BFP - I <3 Echloe! She is so supportive and was one of my first blog followers (thanks for letting me know someone out there cared) and she is knocked up!!!

4. Erin from I wonder if they will have his eyes - Erin is amazing and so strong.

5. Amber from Between the Lines - One of the first blogs I ever read. Amber is such a great writer, I hope she writes a book one day. I'm hoping this award forces her to update :)

6. Square Peg from Square Peg, Round Whole - I love this blog! I love the background, her writing and her strength.

7. Andrea from Andrea in Indiana - Andrea is one of the sweetest people I have never met. From my first day on the boards she made me feel so welcomed and supported. Thanks Andrea, your little one is going to have a great mommy :)

Ok - 10 honest things about myself

1. I hate to eat leftovers. I know that sounds awful but I hate eating the same thing twice in a row.

2. My favorite article of clothing is pj's. I wish I could wear them to work (with heels of course).

3. I dream of having twin boys.

4. I love my name and the way it flows like a melody :)

5. We got a new treadmill 2 weeks ago and I still haven't used it.

6. I always wanted to visit the land of make believe on the mr. ro.ger's show.

7. I like San.dra Bull.ock movies (I am a sap).

8. I can't wait to move to a house with a backyard for my fur monster.

9. I hate coming up with random facts about myself.

10. This time next year I will be in a better, happier place (I hope).

IVF#1 is on!

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, we need to find viable sperm!


I started the pill on Sat. and will add lupron on 2/22, I'm nervous, excited, anxious, scared and hopeful!!!


My injectibles class is on 2/12 and I really like my IVF nurse, she is thorough and really nice.


If everything goes as planned and I will have little embies inside me in mid-March.


God, please let this work.


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In other news, I'm going to read 50 books this year. Any books count and at some point I am going to add the books I read on the side of my blog so that I can keep track of them.


I am still addicted to all things vampire ;) I can't wait until the 9th book in the soo.kie sta.ck.house novels comes out in May.

D also got me an i.pod and I have been doing some meditations to help me deal with stress. I really like then and want to say a big thank you to Andrea for burning them for me :)
If you have any happy/hopeful songs that make you feel, yep you guessed it, happy or hopeful please share :)

"Today was a good day"

Quoting Ice Cube, Today was a good day!

I am so, so happy that I got to witness history today. Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States! I was overcome by tears numerous times today and I am filled with such hope. I have never been more proud to be a citizen of this country.

AND

I went through today's mail and there was a check from my insurance company for a little over $2,000! We submitted D's surgery to my insurance after his carrier only gave us $300 toward his $14,000 surgery. Well, about 4 months later we got a little something, $2000 is not all that much considering what we put out but it helps. Thank You GOD!

2009 is going to be a good year!

__________________________

In other news -
I have read 8 books this year - I'm going for 50.
I am obsessed with a new vampire - Eric from the Soo.kie Sta.ck.house books. Love him! He is dangerous and sexy.
Yes, I know I am a loser :)

Tag, I'm it =)

I've been tagged (twice) by my TTTC Sis Jill.

The first tag is to open my photo folder to you all. Here are the official rules:

1. Go to your Picture Folder on your computer or wherever you store your pictures.

2. Go to the 6th Folder and then pick the 6th Picture.

3. Post it on your blog and tell the story that goes with the picture.

4. Tag 5 other people to do the same thing and leave a comment on their blog telling them about it.

Ok, here's my pic and my story -

My 6th Album is filled with detail shots from our wedding. This is a shot my photographer took of the ceiling of my reception hall. Not super exciting, and thankfully nothing to embarrassing.

In the second meme, I have to share 7 random things about myself.

Here they are:

1) I love to sing at the top of my lungs. I sound like a deaf cat in heat.

2) When I was in High School I thought I thought I was going to be a translator, I took Italian, French and Spanish. I also took Russian my freshman year in college. After Russian, I decided I couldn't take it any more. I remember a few works in French and Russian and I am proficient in Spanish and pretty fluent in Italian.

3) I really want another furbaby. D doesn't agree and wants to wait until we move to a bigger space. I toy with the idea of bringing something tiny and furry home and surprising him.

4) I am addicted to word challenge on facebook and won't stop playing until I crack the top 3 on my all-time list.

5) (Stealing this from Jill) I am a compulsive e-mail checker.

6) My sick addiction to YA literature has me hanging my head in shame. I've read the Twilight saga 5 times. BTW- I'm a vampire and D is a werewolf. This is based on pure scientific fact. D has excess heat and I have cold uterus, so you can see that we can all get along :) I hope we get to have a 1/2 breed pack of our own someday. Oh, and yes, I know that I am a loser.

7) I dream of hitting the lotto and owning a private plane. This plane will fly me to my various homes around the world. One in Italy, one in NYC, one in Hawaii and one in South Beach. I need a location on the West Coast :)

I'm tagging the following ladies (please don't hate me),

Kelly, Melissa, Murgdan, Kristen, and Amber.

It's Official! We're cycling in March

Just got of the phone with MFI Dr.'s nurse and we are all set up with mTESE and IVF in March (the mTESE series is from 3/9 to 3/26).

I am so excited to move forward and praying they find lots of sperm (lots to freeze) and we get some great embies (and some frosties). Soon I will get the package with millions of pages of paperwork for DH to sign off on and then we go to IVF class.

I'm also scared, this is our 1 shot, it's costing us around $36,000. (we have insurance but have to pay opp and then we'll get reimbursed 70% for IVF portion, about $9000, DH's procedure is not covered at all)

God please let this work!!!!

Did I mention that I am scared? I'm so scared and conflicted by all of this. In the end it is our only option (other than a miracle) and I so wish it didn't come down to this. We've known about the NOA for about a year and a half and I still can't believe it. How did we get here? Why can't we just have fucken sex and make baby? I wish there had been a gradual progression, you know, like first we tried, then we moved onto IUI and then IVF. It just seems like we missed a bunch of steps.

I feel like there are two halves of me and it is difficult to reconcile them. The excited, positive, ready to move forward wormette who is just revving to go and the scared, anxious, unsure wormette who feels like we just jumped a few spaceson a board game without collecting any prizes.

Please keep us in your prayers, thoughts, etc.

God please let this work!!!!

Happy 2009!

It's finally here - 2009 - Get the fuck out 2008! (ok, 2008 wasn't all bad and I know it could have been so much worse. I'm still glad it's OVER)

A fresh start and hopefully a year filled with only good things.

I just wanted to say a big Thank You to my blog readers, I truly appreciate your time (reading through my long, incoherent posts), your comments and support.

So warning - I'm going to get sappy.

Thank you so much for all your support, knowledge, strength and determination. I admire you all so much. As much as I hate being on this roller coaster, I'm glad I got to know you, to learn from you, to cry with you and to celebrate with you. Thank you for being a friend.

Wishing you all the Happiest New Year! May it be filled with Love, Joy, Good Health, Prosperity and Pregnancy and Babies (ours).

2 Lines in '09 and praying we only cry tears of joy.