So, I know that there is no way that we can conceive naturally, I know it, for fuck's sake there is no sperm in my DH's SA's.
And in spite of this of this fact I get up every morning at 6:30am and I take my BBT. I check the toilet paper for CM and analyze if it is sticky, thick, watery, egg-white like and then I have the audacity to have sex with my husband every day until I O (that's ovulate, not orgasm, even though I have those too ;) and then a couple more days just in case.
The worst part is I have the nerve to cry like a baby when AF shows up.
Am I stupid, why do I torture myself? I still buy OPK's and Preseed, I think I am the world's stupidest TTTC'er. Why can't I stop doing these things?
I'd like to think that I do this every month because I believe in the power of miracles (and I do)but, I think it is more about feeling like I am in control.
I can take my temp.
I can monitor my CM.
I can make sure we have wild, monkey love when I'm O'ing.
I can pee on every OPK they sell in Walgreen's.
I can make sure DH uses the preseed.
I just can't get pregnant.
2 comments:
I know how you feel worms!!! It's amaizing how you can stay optomistic even when the truth is right there. Some day I hope that all of us will look back at this horrible time while cuddling our babies in our arms and know that it was all worth it....Sending Hugs and love...The other inconceivable,
Christine
Sending you (((BIG HUGS))). You two have had more than your share to deal with, and it is just not fair.
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