Zero

No sperm found.

Dr. S said that he has no idea what caused DH's NOA, and he hopes one day they can figure it out and restore sperm production in NOA guys.

We both got to Cornell at 6:30am, D with his sample and me with my bag of goodies to entertain me. He was taken in at 7:30am and I was over at My Dr's side doing pre-op, b/w and vaj-cam.

D's Dr. came to see me around 10:30 to tell me that he was discouraged not to see any sperm while in there (he went into both testicles) but that he removed lots of good-looking tissue and the lab would go through it and look for sperm. He said they would call us in the evening and that my ER would be cancelled if they didn't find anything.

I got to see D around 10:45 in stage 1 recovery. He was tired and his throat hurt from the breathing tube. Eventually he woke up enough to sit up and drink some juice. They then moved him to stage 2 recovery in an isolation unit, he's on a MRSA database.

In stage 2 he had to urinate on his own and eat before he was released and I got to wear a lovely yellow gown over my clothes so I wouldn't get the MRSA.

He was finally released around 2 and we got home around 3. We then just cried and cried and cried. At this point, we didn't think they would find anything and were just completely devastated.

At Around 7, my RE called and told me how sorry she was about the mTESE and that she was there if I needed to talk or whenever we decided we were moving forward. She said I would get a period in 10-14 days and she was really sad for us.

At around 7:44 Dr. S called and was really sorry that they hadn't found anything. They haven't been able to figure out why this happens, is it a gene, a missing protein, they have no clue. It was very likely that D was born with everything necessary and it died off over time. He may have lost his sperm production before going through puberty.

We are just so sad, devastated and heart-broken. I cried so much last night that I made myself sick from all my tears. I'm still crying.

I just can't believe D doesn't get to be a biological father. He is w/o a doubt the sweetest, kindest, funniest, loving guy, why does he have to feel so much pain? As I mentioned, D is the youngest of 12 kids, he has 6 brother, 5 sisters and everyone has kids, lots of kids.
Most of his brothers are not good dads and have been nothing more than a child support payment, his Dad was a womanizer and a bastard, they can all be dads and he can't?

He worked so hard to be nothing like them, to be a good man, the kind of person a kid could look up to. He is more of a father to some of his nephews than his brothers. He's every one's favorite uncle and he goes out of his way to help them and at times take care of them.

I feel like I am rambling, so I'm going to log off.

I'm sure we'll be going through all the stages of grief.

Thank you so very much for all the support and prayers, we so appreciate it. Please pray D heals quickly and that he doesn't get any infections.

We need to decide what's next for us. We have no idea.