Waving Hi :)

Well, the week following my HSG from hell was pretty crappy :( I had lots of cramping and spotting that finally went away last weekend. I was also having awful headaches. SO glad that it's done! I spoke to my nurse about the experience and she apologized. She said that they don't have the equipment to do HSG in office and that is the hospital that they are affiliated with. Anyway she gave me the definitive all clear and some cd3 b/w specifics

FSH = 4.3
E2 = great (low, but nurse didn't have # in front of her)
Prolactin Levels = good
Ovarian Reserve = great

so much for specifics ;) My nurse is super sweet but a little frazzled sometimes. She didn't have the paperwork in front of her but she had emailed me my FSH earlier so that is why I know the #.

Anyway waiting for some flow and then I call her and we start the monitoring. I will be doing a natural cycle but they will be monitoring my O.
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Also, I have been given a couple of awards :)

Melissa from Banking on It and Melissa from Melissa's Thoughts and Realizations have both, so sweetly, awarded me with the

The Survey~ (only 1 word answers)

1. Where is your cell phone? table
2. Your hair? dirty
3. Your mother? Crazy :)
4. Your father? generous
5. Your favorite food? Italian
6. Your dream last night? none
7. Your favorite drink? water
8. Your dream/goal? parenthood
9. What room are you in? Living
10. Your hobby? Reading
11. Your fear? Cancer
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Mother
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something that you aren’t? thin
15. Muffins? blueberry
16. Wish list item? house
17. Where did you grow up? NY
18. Last thing you did? type
19. What are you wearing? jammies
20. Your TV? huge
21. Your pets? cute
22. Friends? The best
23. Your life? Changing
24. Your mood? happy
25. Missing someone? Nonna
26. Vehicle? 5
27. Something you’re not wearing? Bra :)
28. Your favorite store? Macy*s
29. Your favorite color? Deep Red
30. When was the last time you laughed? 6pm
31. Last time you cried? Tuesday
32. Your best friend? Wormy
33. One place that I go to over and over? nest
34. One person who emails me regularly? macys.com

35. Favorite place to eat? Mom’s

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Hopefully, in the next week I will upload my vacation pics and share some with you.

And, please give me some book recs - I desperately need suggestions - I want to reach my new goal of 100 book in 2009.

CD3 b/w and HSG = Done

I went for CD3 b/w last week and my nurse said that everything looked good (I'm waiting for some specifics #'s).

My RE doesn't do HSG's in the office so I got referred to a nearby hospital to get it done and I went yesterday and it was just pure crap.

Let me just say that I also have a severe shellfish allergy and the dye used in the test mimics the dye found in shellfish so I had to take meds prior to the test to prevent allergic reaction. I had to take 32mg of medrol at 1am and then another 32 mg at 11am and then the HSG was at 1pm. The meds gave me a headache and weird taste in my mouth.

So it takes the Dr. 3 tries to get catheter in cervix and the 3rd time he said it's only going in 1/2 way I'm going to try to see if this works, well when he shot the dye the catheter popped out - great move D-bag. So then they re-position me and try again and this time it goes in all the way. In between each try to insert the catheter he used some plastic tool to try to open up my cervix - it was irritating and annoying. He also kept asking for more dye - 2 times - I'm like how much dyes this asss*ss need. I heard the nurse tell him usually it only takes 10,000 cc's or something and he used 30,000.

He does test which was annoying and gave me a lot of pressure and then towards the end I got very nauseous and light-headed. Once test was done and everything was removed I felt somewhat better. Eventually room stopped spinning and I got to leave. I am was also bleeding a lot - nurse warned me after he left that I would be since he irritated the hell out of my cervix.

All day yesterday I felt light-headed and nauseous and am still feeling some cramping/pressure today.

I really think that my HSG was bad because

1 - he didn't know WTF he was doing! I've had other tests done with catheters in cervix and have never had trouble inserting into it before and have never felt pain before

2 - they didn't have stirrups! I had to stay with my legs spread open for 45 minutes and it was so uncomfortable and I kept worrying I was going to kick him (he deserved it). I also think this is why it was so hard to get catheter in my cervix, I wasn't positioned properly.

so, bottom line, he said I am all clear. The actual test part is ok, lots of pressure and cramping and then it's over. I am telling my RE's office not to send people there anymore.

Now we wait for AF to arrive, which hopefully will be last week of October and then we can get down to business.

I have been back and forth a lot about when to start and scared about d-iui and D has been kinda hesitant too. But in the last couple of weeks we both have gotten really excited to be moving forward. When I asked if we could cycle this month and my nurse said we had to wait for next period, I actually felt a little sad.

We're really glad we have this opportunity to be parents.

Seriously, someone spank me

I've been such a bad blogger.

I promise to do better. I realize I keep saying this but I am really going to try.


Well, we're back from vacation and it was so amazing!!! We relaxed, re-connected, gambled, ate (a LOT) and got a tan :) Unfortunately, our tans have faded pretty quickly. (if you've been on a cruise then you know that they are constantly taking your picture and on our last night D and I put all the pics in order and admired the progression of our tans)


We left NYC on 9/4 and landed in LALA-Land, where we spent the night with some wonderful friends who live in Santa Monica. They are expecting their first son in January and it was so nice to get to see my friend with her little baby bump.


We stayed in San Pedro (near the cruise terminal) on 9/5 and ate some yummy Mexican Food and took a free shuttle to the boat.


We boarded our cruise on 9/6 and we loved every second of it! We were really hesitant about our 7 night cruise because we didn't know how we would feel being on a boat for so long and we were pleasantly surprised at how much fun we had. We took Ro.yal Carib.bean's Mari.ner of the Se.as and had a 8th deck stateroom with a balcony. We really liked our room, it was bigger than our last cruise and I don't think we can ever go back to cruising with out a balcony :)

Our cruise stopped in Cabo San Lucas, Mazatlan and Puerto Vallarta. In Cabo, DH and I took a Snorkel Cruise. The cruise took us past the famous Arch, sea lions, Lovers Beach and Pelican Rock. We then went snorkeling at Chileno Reef and it was a lot of fun. After our excursion we walked to the Ca.bo Wa.bo Cantina and grabbed a light snack and some drinks. We also did some shopping :)

On our stop in Mazatlan we did a tour of the city, we saw the lighthouse, a 19th Century Cathedral, cliff divers and a show featuring various folk dancers. We also did some shopping :)

Puerto Vallarta was our fav stop!!! It was so beautiful and every time someone said Puerto Vallarta I sang the lo.ve bo.at them song :) We took a catamaran to Majahuitas and went snorkeling and the fish were amazing. Once I develop my underwater camera, I'll post some pics. After snorkeling, we sailed to Yelapa and hung out on the beach. Once we got back to port DH and I took a taxi into town and walked along el Malecon and of course, did some shopping :)

Our days on the boat were great too. We played bingo, laid out by the pool, took a waltz class (where I won a lovely gold metal for being a first-class ass shaker), ate, read, sat on our balcony and of course, did some shopping :)

On our way to Mex.ico we saw some whales hanging out, blowing water out of their blow holes and turning over. I think they were blue whales. On our way back to LA we saw dolphins flipping through the water and playing with each other. It was awesome.

We were so sad to leave our cruise, we really wanted it to never end. Once we got back to LA, we spent another night with our awesome friends. And then on 14th we flew out to VEGAS!

We had a great time in VEGAS!!!! We stayed at the Par.is and had a really great room (hey, it was free, can't get better than that). We gambled and lost but thankfully came home with some $. We also ate at some great restaurants and had to go to Margar.itaville, where we ate the yummy delicious vol.cano nachos :)' Thankfully I only gained 3 lbs. on vacation.

We finally got home last weekend and I have been back at work now for over a week and D had another week at home :( I was so jealous D was still home that I called out on Friday so we could spend the day together. We had such a great vacation, it was so nice to get out of our space and to just be happy and carefree. I did miss my fur-monster so much, I need to plan our next vacation so that it is pet friendly :)

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So, now to what's going on with us. We've decided to get this whole d-iui show on the road this fall. My AF showed up yesterday (sadly, no miracle, vacation, break cycle BFP) and I called my nurse today. I have cd3 b/w tomorrow and then my HSG on Monday.

Hopefully, if we get an all clear, we can start this cycle if not, then next. I can't believe we are here. I'm glad that we have this amazing opportunity to be parents but it still boggles my mind that we are here.

If all goes well we hope to finally spend the holidays with a bun in the oven ;)

Another cool thing that happened is my residency requirement for work finally got lifted so we will be looking at houses soon :) We can finally get out of this co-op and start over somewhere new.

It's been a while :(

Sorry for being such a bad blogger :( Will try to be better.

A couple of updates -

On Wed. I had my appt. with my new RE. It went really well :)

I went into office and the nurse immediately says to me I knew I knew you (not the words you want to hear when walking into RE's office). Anyway, turns out she's my old co-workers wife and we had met a couple of years ago. She stresses to me not to worry she will not mention anything to husband, she respects all patients confidentiality and that if I need anything or have any questions do not hesitate to call her. She was really nice but it did freak me out.

Anyway the Dr. came out to get me and he was very easy-going and we get into his office and gets my chart and asks me to give him history and I lose it :( I am the biggest crier ever! I went over everything DH has been through and why we're leaving cor.nell. I apologized for crying but he told me not to worry we'd been through a lot and handed me lots of tissues.

We talked about next steps. I don't need to do any b/w since had cd3 in March and everything looks good accept my androgens are slightly elevated and I have a mild case of PCOS. I O on my own but around cd 17-20 and that is the reason why I O later. I don't need to take anything, he just wants to monitor my O closely. I need to have HSG done.

Since my period is MIA – it isn’t happening before vacation and will have to wait until next cycle

I will be doing natural d-iui's at first. He will be monitoring me from cd 8 b/c he wants to see quality of egg and then decide if necessary if I need meds for future cycles.

I met my nurse, who was the original person I first spoke to when I called back in July and she is so sweet. She gave me next steps and her email and told me not to worry about anything and if I have any questions/concerns to email her even on weekends.

I also met with insurance coordinator who told me my coverage and said everything was all set :) I have unlimited iui's and don't need pre-approval so that's cool.
We talked about ds getting to them and I may need to do d-iui's in city b/c they aren't there on weekends.

If I had gotten AF on time we have cycled in October but now need to do HSG so am not sure if I can do HSG and cycle in same cycle.

Dr. T also gave me his email and said not to hesitate to to email or call with any questions.

When I walked out I saw old co-worker's wife again and stressed to call with anything and that they really want me to be comfortable with everything and that they strive for a family environment.

Oh of course since my vag was going to be on display I did some deforestation - it was for nothing - no physical exam.

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Then on Thursday (insert ominous music)

DH takes a turn for the worse

He has been having really bad tooth pain/swelling for the last week and a 1/2.
The dentist had mentioned that he needed a tooth pulled and potentially a root canal. Since his pain was unbearable I got him an emergency appt. last Monday and they removed tooth and gave him anti-biotic and vicodin.

It was still really bothering him on Wed. and he went to see diff. dentist who said he has bad infection on gums and does not need root canal and gave him a diff. anti-biotic that he has to take every six hours. She also said it was serious and if any of the swelling seemed to be traveling upwards it could get into eye and he needed to go straight to emergency room.

DH called me around 4:30 and said he thinks it is getting worse and should go to emergency room. I don't know if it is getting worse or if he is paranoid b/c of everything he has been through with surgeries and multiple infections.
I just want him to be 100% fine and no more infections. I know he is scared of any potential infection after his MRSA hell last year.

When he got home from work we called the pharmacy and our pharmacist said that this anti-biotic will take at least 6 in your system before feeling any type relief. D still had lots of swelling and it is a little higher than yesterday :(
We decided to have him get some rest and to continue with take the anti-biotics every 6 hours and then re-evaluate on Friday morning. If things weren't getting better we were going to call dentist and then decide if he should go see her or the emergency room.

Well, he was a little better and since then has slowly been improving. I really hope this infection goes away. I can’t imagine being on a boat in the middle of nowhere with a sick DH.

Please pray or send positive vibes that it goes away completely and he doesn’t need root canal. This man has had such a rough last 2 years - I just want him to be healthy.


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And now that leaves today – we actually got some good news. My insurance is going to give us $1500 for D’s mTESE last March. It is a drop in the bucket but every little bit helps.

We leave for vacation on Friday and we can’t wait!!!! Our first vacation in 2 years!!! I’m hoping this is the beginning of good things.

hi

Wow, this blog has been pretty depressing (I guess so has my life), thanks for sticking around and actually reading it :)

So, a few people have asked how I have lost 17 lbs., well, I am doing Wei.ght Watc.hers Points, the regular old point system, not any of the newer versions. I like to eat whatever I want, whenever I want in moderation and this plan works for me. If you want to learn more shoot me an email, I'm always looking for weight loss buddies.

I finally called new RE and have an appt. for the end of the month. I'm glad I did it. I just hope everything is still working ok in there :)

Not much else to report. 29 days til vacation :)

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you like me, you really like me :)

I want to thank the following bloggers for bestowing me with various blog awards

Bella, for the Kreativ Blogger Award
Sweet Georgia, for the Honest Scrap Award
Ashely and MelissaP05 for the One Lovely Blog Award

Thanks so much ladies, I so appreciate all your support and please check out their blogs, they are all strong, kind and wonderful ladies.

Here are some bloggers I want to award these awards to

Not How I Planned
The Road Less Traveled
Between the Lines (baby)
Elusive BFP
Conceive This
Dish Baby (pregnant)
MeInsideOut (pregnant)
PreHeatedOven (pregnant)
Infertility and Me
Hoping for Hoberts (babies)
Life in the White House (pregnant)

So I'm not going to do all the things these awards ask of me, I'm going write 10 honest things about myself as per the honest scrap award.

1. I want to write a book, I am not a good writer but I want to.
2. I treat my dog like he is a baby, yes, I am sick. I have actually uttered these words out loud while holding him, "I wish you were a real boy."
3. I love cheesy, sappy love songs.
4. I love the ocean and the way it renews my soul.
5. I love thunder and lightning.
6. I hate fake people.
7. I have a love/hate relationship with technology.
8. I love to gamble :)
9. I love to bake cupcakes
10. I love getting snail mail

Welcome ICLW'ers

Our journey is to your right :)


It's been a rough couple of weeks. D took his cousin's passing really hard and it was just so sad. Thank God his wife is holding up well but I have a feeling she was heavily medicated at the wake/funeral, considering she just had her kidney removed and left the hospital the same day as wake.


We're still in a holding pattern and I am procrastinating and haven't set up an appt. yet with new RE. I really don't want to think about anything until we come back from vacation (which will be from 9/4 - 9/18). At the same time, I'm sure I will need to get some testing done and I will need an HSG (never had one b/c we were MF and didn't need working tubes to do IVF). Get on my case and make me call the dr. please.


I'm just so looking forward to vacation, it is going to be so great to get away. I can't wait for our couple's massage :) Any Vegas recs? restaurants, shows, etc. The other times I have been were for bachelorette parties so I need some more couple-y type things to do.

A couple of AW updates :)
~ down 15 lbs
~ I have completed my goal of reading 50 books in 2009 - I am now shooting for 100. If you have any suggestions feel free to leave them when you comment.

It's my Blogaversary

One year ago, I started this blog. If you're still here reading you deserve a big thank you!

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A bunch of updates

~ I'm down 14 lbs. :)
~ I've read a couple more books
~ 52 days until vacation

~ we are the proud owners of 12 vials of ds, still have no idea when we will use it
~ thinking of switching RE's to a clinic that accepts my insurance for d-iui's, I'm torn b/c I <3 my RE, she is great, but corn.ell is very expensive and it would be so nice to visit a dr. and only pay a $20 co-pay

~ have had some good moments and some bad lately

Today was not a good day :(

My BFF's dad passed away and today was his funeral. We've been friends since 2nd grade and BFF's since 6th grade, we don't even say we're friends we say we're sisters. Her dad was like my dad and I even call her mom, ma :)

I am so sad. I hate to see my 2nd family so sad and wish there is something I could do for them.

It brought up so many emotions for me, especially about my parents. I hope and pray they are around for a long, long time. I hope they get to meet my children and get to spoil them and teach them to speak Italian and feed them yummy food.

While in church, I almost lost it to the point I was going to be loud and sobbing. I haven't been in church in a while and I am so mad at God right now. Why can't we have a baby? WHY? I just want D to be the father of my children. UGH!!! I fucken hate feeling this way!
Why can't I just accept this?

I really just wanted to scream WHY? in the middle of mass. I think I need to drive to an isolated area and just scream at God.

I hope tomorrow is better.

update -

A little after posting we got some more bad news. DH's cousin passed away. He was only 37 and leaves behind a wife and 2 daughters. He had health problems since his 20's and needed a kidney transplant. His wife was a match and their surgeries were today, he didn't survive the surgery. I feel so sad for his wife and kids and his parents and siblings. I can't even imagine what his wife is going through, waking up from surgery and finding out your husband is gone. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

I am so grateful for all that I have. I am still angry at God but so thankful for D.